Wanna Live Forever . . ?

We should have an Apollo Space Race-style program to save our planet.

We are ingenious.  We are imaginative. We are often fantastically adventurous, and we have a tremendous capacity for compassion.  

But as a friend of mine put it the other day, mostly we are extremely myopic.

This make-or-break moment is a special time in history.  The problems are systemic. Most of the arguments concerning possible problem solving scenarios, and the eventual solutions we choose, usually involve how to fix these systems, and not how to discard them altogether.  We are constantly thinking “inside the box”, as they say.

For instance, we discuss current class and economic systems like they are laws of physics.  We talk about printed paper money like it is something other than an abstraction -instead of treating the imaginary financial notes like the made-up things they are.

We pretend there can only be so much cash to go around (…which is literally printed on presses and made up by banks in computers), that our debt is an insurmountable mountain… and that you can only owe so much, pay so much, live with so much, spend so much, afford to give away so little, cannot share or divide this limited resource, and that we must by all means keep it away from those who haven’t earned it…

Meanwhile, this (Clicking the quote will take you to the full article):

“If half the animals died in London zoo next week it would be front page news,” said Professor Ken Norris, ZSL’s director of science. “But that is happening in the great outdoors.”

Earth has lost half of its wildlife in the past 40 years, says WWF

Damian Carrington- The Guardian, Monday29 September 2014

The stakes are as high as they are ever going to be. We are in… the beginning of a… or in the midst of an… or some say, a too late to turn back from- extinction event.

It also appears that people in positions of real influence lack the imagination to discuss anything other than how to fix this current system. 

It seems other influencers honestly think they will survive any global demise, for all their wealth and resources…

Worse yet- many appear resolved it’s already too late- and they should just do what they can, and get as much as they can, until it’s finally all over.  This cynical and morbid perspective is well expressed in the following monologue from a character played by actor Brian Cox, in the movie The Veteran:

Where is the ingenuity in thinking like that..? Where is any real sense of adventure..?

I believe in our ingenuity and imaginations, and our abilities.  But sometimes, well, going to another planet, or saving this one, has no immediate pay-off in the present economic context.  Sometimes the profit motive just ain't there... and it won't be good 'business', even if it might be good economics, or just make plain exploratory sense... that's the difference between government and business.  We choose to do things through government not to make a profit (though there’s no excuse for waste), or even to break even... but because it's needed, it's innovative, it’s adventuresome, it’s moral, improves the quality of our lives, or makes sense in some other way.  Maybe it saves our all our lives altogether.

What we need, if not an actual Apollo-style program to save ourselves, is at least a Space Race mindset.

This means we cannot continue to think small thoughts.  Here are questions I continually ask in order to provide myself a context out of which I can approach some issues.  They’re not the only questions I should probably ask by any means… but they’re an honest start for me, to keep me from thinking in the box:

1) What are ‘The Commons’ really, and do how we maintain the current condition of those ‘Commons’…  Aren’t these the current infrastructure of roads, bridges, rail, communications, energy, national parks, the world’s air (not only one nation’s, unless you live in a sealed dome) we breathe, the water we drink, education, healthcare, the lives of our cohabitant species, and the combined cultural knowledge and experience which is our historical national (no, too small…) global heritage..?    

2) How would you re-create an educated (see ‘The Commons’ above) populace which was once the envy of the world… a workforce which would have enough ingenuity and inventiveness to work in the next generation’s companies, and thrive in a global market (and how would that market have to look?), plus be equipped with a foundation of knowledge to save our species?

3) Because none of us are immortal, and all of us are aging- How would you keep between 60 and 75 percent of all personal bankruptcies from occurring, not to mention the personal emotional tragedies, which are directly related to ‘Medical Costs’ you, me, our spouses, our children, and our friends and families cannot ourselves/themselves carry (‘Commons’, again)?

4) How would you create ‘consumers’ so that businesses can flourish? Because businesses need customers before they hire anyone to fulfill the demand, and consumers have to have money in their pockets to be consumers (… and is even being a consumer in the traditional sense even sustainable)?

5) What historically or currently accurate successful models, from our own country’s  historical experience, or another’s, would you duplicate or make better, in order to achieve all this (we’re not talking some Ron-Paul-Keynesian-Economic Utopia, but real nuts-n-bolts what’s been working somewhere)?

6) What organizational missions, inventions, or legislative ideas floating around out there that we can support, or that my leaders support, which aspire to any of the above?

We have to be willing, no- not just willing- daring… we have to be courageous enough to direct our entire mental and physical resources in a race against planetary extinction, and nothing less than that. 

This is our generation’s lot… most definitely our children’s… and strangely…

This does not disturb me, so much as gets me all revved up. To me, this challenge sounds like a science fiction style adventure… even if we are already past a tipping point…

The stakes only make the adventure more exciting.

Workers Unite (...and Franchisees too)!

     Small franchise owners have more in common with their workers than we've been lead to believe... The interests of so-called 'Corporate Stores' and 'Franchises' are frequently at odds.  Many have read the following, and it's often a revelation:  

"We are in the real estate business. The only reason we sell hamburgers is because they are the greatest producer of revenue from which our tenants can pay us rent."

  -Harry J. Sonneborn, former McDonald's CFO

     This disclosure is eye-opening to the franchisee who thinks they are a "restaurateur" (and not a "tenant").  

     I assisted in the management at a couple of small businesses. I've been close enough to make entries in books and know the realities of running a small franchise store, and a corporate one.  I think most agree that a sudden and immediate shift to a $15 minimum wage tomorrow would be a jolting disastrous quake, which is why implementation of such policies are done gradually and not all at once- stirred, not shaken. 

     Anyone who has managed a small franchise can appreciate the cash flow issues involved. These are some contextual issues I'd think about though, as a small business person in today's market:

 1) Econ 101 dictates, and history proves, a rise in wages means more customers spending more money at your doorstep. There has never, not in our economic history ever, been a period when a rise in the minimum wage has resulted in a large-scale collapse of businesses, both large or small... if you know of such an event, please point it out.... it has not ever happened. What does happen is exactly the opposite- those workers have more liquidity to spend on your burgers and pizza (and this often begins directly with their lunches, which they purchase everyday on lunch breaks, at your very establishments which they're working for)... 

2) Corporate stores especially (opposed to franchises) are making more than enough in profits-after tax, after deductions which include wages, to offset the costs of these raises in wages. These same corporations like to focus their arguments on how they'd have to raise their prices to cover the wage expense, when the truth is that there is are often hundreds of millions, even billions of 'tricklle-up' AGI dollars which are available, in addition to the extra flowing income they'd make at their cash registers, to offset any wage hike. Hundreds of millions, even billions... Most people can't imagine the scale of how much available corporate cash this is... Large corporations count on this so they can try to scare you into thinking such a hike would mean economic collapse, when what it really means is a redistribution of profit from 'shareholders', to 'householders'... we have no sense of scale.... 

3) As for franchise owners trying to make ends meet... sorry to say, but as hard as you work, and as many stores as you might own, this is another one of those issues where you are going have to realize the corporate stores have once again sold you a bad bill of goods, in that the conditions you are functioning under are simply not contextually a viable economic model... If what you are telling us is correct, that with your (franchise?) fees you can only function in low-wage, race to the bottom, and in otherwise parasitic economic conditions- and not one where the economy is actually thriving... then you need to rethink your investments immediately... 

     Because the writing is on the wall... this is not simply a fun, Internet political argument thread... this is a very real trending economic consideration which will threaten your economic survival too, just like it threatens your workers, because your fates are not in conflict, but are linked... 

     Because once again, franchise owner, 'corporate', as you and I may well already may know... is not your friend...

The Collective & Inaugural Omens - by Gerald Ollison

According to most astrologers a Moon Void is not the most opportune time to initiate anything of great importance. Certainly not an event of the magnitude of an inauguration! At the most it spells absolute disaster for the endeavor to be undertaken. At the very least it means nothing of any consequence will occur. The one and only astrologer I ever trusted myself, the late great Rockie Gardiner (passed away this last Halloween) recommended one file their taxes during Moon Voids for this very reason...

Nothing of consequence... Well, tell that to Dick Cheney who appeared to be hobbled for the event. He was wheelchair bound from an aching back; disabled... unable to stand.

Think about that one. In addition to being able support yourself in an upright position on your feet, to be able to stand also means "...to maintain one's position", "...to remain valid or efficacious", (Merriam-Webster’s). To 'stand up' for oneself is to be among other things, dignified. At the moment of the moon void Dick Cheney was unable to stand.

While I listened to a radio interview a person speaking (with Thom Hartmann on Air America) asserted the idea that in addition to the reigns of the Presidency being handed over, because of the historic nature of this event and Obama's persona, that also the ideological legacy which had been borne so much by the Kennedy family, as its symbol, was also being transferred to another generation and family; the Obamas.

It seemed not less than a half an hour later, it was reported that Ted Kennedy collapsed at the Obama Luncheon. One can't help but think what a relief the relinquishment of such a profound though intangible psychic burden that must be. You can rest now, this event seems to be begging of Ted and the rest. Here are others to carry the load...

And as if that weren't enough... an actual meteor visibly crossed the sky today. How Shakespearean is that? The transfer of monumental governmental power, the transfer of collective psychic energy, hobbled politicians and stars falling out of there orbits...

Moon void; maybe... No consequences..? Your and my
Collective's ass.

Jerry'O

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright © January 20th, 2009 by Gerald Ollison.

All rights reserved (Excepting the photos, maybe... My bad, Tee-hee...).

Of Paradigms and Spew

I was an infant child in the sixties. Those of you who, like me, were school children or younger at that time have the original and distinct advantage of always existing with an image of Earth— from the vantage point of outer space; and especially from the moon.

Unlike all of our older brethren, even the boomers who’d just preceded us (though we’re often wrongly characterized as amongst that group), our inherent reality about our home is one of Earth without any borders at all. This is a perspective entirely at odds with even the faintest notion of the concept of nation-state. It is a perspective that is different from any generation in western culture which came before. We have never known a reality which dictates confinement to our planet, let alone a single country or even state.

The dilemma is that we have lived amongst those, most that have been in power, who do not possess that inherent perspective.

In Obama, we have elected a candidate for the first time in history who shares this way of perceiving. This, I submit, is the essence of this so-called sea change; this generational shift.

A new era, we say. That’s the phrase, worn out recently from overuse. The victory . . . so overwhelming; so different in so many ways than what any expected as the ultimate result. It wasn’t just the shear numbers of voters but, of course, the younger demographics, plus the reconfiguration of the political party map . . . C’mon, Indiana. . ? North Carolina. . ?

Everyone says that this now shows what’s really possible for America . . . or for a black man, or any other minority in America. Everyone marvels at those qualities, so eloquently illustrated on November 4th, 2008 . . . which make our country such a marvel and, now once again, such a beacon of faith and hopeful idealism made concrete.

We’ve broken another barrier; they say the world over. . .

But . . . I cannot forget the days leading up . . . and neither should you.

It’s been argued for so long, say, against affirmative action, by misinformed if not misleading persons, that we are a free nation now; no longer a nation of double standards for different classes or cultures. Therefore we no longer need special consideration for people who should be able to achieve, to be truly fair, on their own merit; all conditions on the playing field now being proportionately even. I’m afraid that in all of the current commotion we might even confuse the current achievement as proof of this belief.

Despite this race’s magnificent outcome, we’ve all had the opportunity to observe that the terms are anything but even.

His middle name, Hussein, and his foreign born father were used to make him appear more alien.
The place of his elementary school beginnings was made twisted-history in order to make him appear Muslim, and perhaps anti-Semitic. Guilt by association was used to make him appear a terrorist. The candidate could not even break a sweat, let alone get angry, for fear of being perceived as an “angry black man”.

Despite all of this the man and his campaign stayed steady; no wavering, no distraction from the goal, the dream.

It is not because America is a level playing field that he has made it to where he is; it is in spite of the double standards that he has thrived. This is a tremendous testament to the character and discipline of this man and the people around him. The celebrating, the speeches and all of the praise are about this strength and foresight and persistent perseverance.

And there is also another insane irony; that of a tyrannical public in one so-called “liberal” western state, disallowing the individual freedom of people who love each other, from entering into a private contract together. Over here, so much good, so much hope; over there the dam is bursting with the inhumane monstrosity of vindictive, thoughtless fear.

It’s like we’re attempting to gulp down a kind of giant messy hope sandwich. The large and tasty dripping mouthfuls are glorious, but we’re losing a large bit of it out the back as some spews out the other end; and messes in our laps.

There is one comfort I take though, as I watch my 5 year old child sleep, and alternately turn back to the television to take in Obama’s acceptance speech: That my son’s perspective will forever be different from mine; he will never know an America where a man of color could not be President.

Jerry'O

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright © November 2008 by Gerald Ollison. All rights reserved (Excepting the photos, maybe... My bad, Tee-hee...).

Rove-ing Evil’s Last Gasp - by Gerald Ollison

There is a scene in the movie Bladerunner which is as telling an image of evil in its death throws as has ever been portrayed.

The replicants, as they are called, are genetically created androids which are indistinguishable from humans in every way excepting one characteristic. They are completely devoid of an empathetic response. They don’t feel anything when other creatures are hurt. This is one apt definition of sociopathological evil.

In the last part of the movie one of the main female replicants, Pris, is shot by the protagonist and hits the ground kicking-n-screaming; but even this display is patently abnormal. It’s a lightning fast repetitive semi-mechanical impersonation of a child’s hate and frustration temper tantrum. It’s Pinocchio on steroids, on his back refusing to die; but it’s mechanical fishlike flopping, kicking and fist pounding betrays the fact that it’s never loved, let alone lived. It’s a frightening display which sends chills down the spine of anyone who has a spine and is paying attention.

The irony is you feel sorry for the creature; but you simultaneously realize there is no way in hell the creature feels the same about you or anything else (no more than a tractor or eggbeater). If you go a step further you also realize the creature believes your sympathetic response is your exploitable weakness. You think, “Oh God, please die, because if you get up there’ll be hell to pay and neither I nor any other sane person has that much currency”!

It’s a stunning display.

Ashley Todd, a McCain Campaign Volunteer is now facing potential charges because she faked a story that she was mugged by a black male at an ATM. She'd originally claimed her money was stolen and the attacker beat, kicked and, when the attacker noticed a sticker showing her support for McCain, carved a letter "B" on her cheek.

Michele Bachmann, Representative for the Sixth District in the State of Minnesota, has called for a press investigation to find out who in congress are pro or anti American, and is now rapidly backpedaling.

Robocalling runs rampant, accusing Obama of being soft on crime.

Both McCain and Palin, and ties to their campaigns, suggesting their competitors are associating with terrorists and is a Muslim (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Effigies of a hanging black-Obama type; envelopes of white powder sent to democratic campaign offices; and the ole black-men-are-apes joke expressed with Curious George shirts and other paraphernalia; Fires set; shouts of “terrorist” and “kill him” from McCain/Palin campaign crowds, where we must assume the Secret Service is present and watching (but inconspicuously NOT doing their jobs by NOT trouncing on some ass, when this happened).

All of this... also a stunning display. And it doesn’t stop. The mechanical kicking and screaming only repeats... like a child’s temper tantrum.

I am a fan of a particular book by the late M. Scott Peck, M.D. His tomes are laced with Christian theology and psychology. Many of his critics believe the religion and psychiatry are too fluid in his works, often masquerading and otherwise confused with each other, and not in a productive and good way in their opinions. I was raised Christian, but am not certain I would fit that definition by anyone who knows that they are. What I am, is an (amateur) Jungian and as such I am interested in archetypes and anything remotely archetypal and, well, evil (and good too)... Evil and all of its historic personages and manifestations, well, that’s way up there... and this single book by Mister Peck is invoked repeatedly (and often not carefully enough) in relation to his proposed new view and psychological definition of a pathology. Because, in what may be his most compelling work, People of the Lie, this is what he posits:

“Be that as it may, the time is right, I believe, for psychiatry to recognize a distinct new type of personality disorder to encompass those I have named evil. In addition to the abrogation of responsibility that characterizes all personality disorders, this one would specifically be distinguished by:
(a) Consistent destructive, scapegoating behavior, which may often be quite subtle.
(b) Excessive, albeit usually covert, intolerance to criticism and other forms of narcissistic injury.
(c) Pronounced concern with public image and self-image of respectability, contributing to a stability of life-style but also to pretentiousness and denial of hateful feelings or vengeful motives.
(d) Intellectual deviousness, with an increased likelihood of a mild schizophreniclike disturbance of thinking at times of stress.”

He also mentions three other weaknesses: A self-centeredness which betrays a non-understanding of love; the second, since the scientific method is blatantly anti-narcissistic and anti-deception, a disdain and lack of understanding of science. The third quality observed of the evil and indeed, of Satan himself according to Peck, is, “... not only demonic brilliance but also extraordinary demonic stupidity.”

So evil is also, like a child... Well, it’s not too swift.

Many out there believe that this is just an antagonistic campaign strategy meant to incite a radical militant rightwing hateful crowd into a destructive fervor of harmful and perhaps murderous intent towards their critics, and even Obama himself. Some feel it’s a kind of endgame strategy. They know they’re going to lose, so they’re setting up an climate of criticism they can later point to, after an Obama administration shows it’s imperfections by not being instantaneously perfect, and say how they were right all along.

Some people even believe this is about conservatism versus liberalism; I’m with another crowd...

This will represent a generational change. In fact, many of the men who are now fighting this tide of change will actually physically, literally die off during the next 8 or more years of this sea change, as will their policies with them.

And this kicking and screaming. This uncreative, repetitious and mechanical flailing and finger pointing and hateful spewing are simply the best impersonation of a childish temper tantrum that a soulless and shattered android can muster...

It is not exactly the death knell of evil... because evil, or Satan, or an android can’t die...

But it is a reasonable facsimile I can live with.

Jerry'O

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright © October 2008 by Gerald Ollison. All rights reserved (Excepting the photos, maybe... My bad, Tee-hee...).

Deepak Chopra's Palin Effect

Originally posted at the Huffingtonpost.com; this is brilliant!

Obama and the Palin Effect
By Deepak Chopra

Posted September 4, 2008, HuffingtonPost.com

Sometimes politics has the uncanny effect of mirroring the national psyche even when nobody intended to do that. This is perfectly illustrated by the rousing effect that Gov. Sarah Palin had on the Republican convention in Minneapolis this week. On the surface, she outdoes former Vice President Dan Quayle as an unlikely choice, given her negligent parochial expertise in the complex affairs of governing. Her state of Alaska has less than 700,000 residents, which reduces the job of governor to the scale of running one-tenth of New York City. By comparison, Rudy Giuliani is a towering international figure. Palin's pluck has been admired, and her forthrightness, but her real appeal goes deeper.

She is the reverse of Barack Obama, in essence his shadow, deriding his idealism and exhorting people to obey their worst impulses. In psychological terms the shadow is that part of the psyche that hides out of sight, countering our aspirations, virtue, and vision with qualities we are ashamed to face: anger, fear, revenge, violence, selfishness, and suspicion of "the other." For millions of Americans, Obama triggers those feelings, but they don't want to express them. He is calling for us to reach for our higher selves, and frankly, that stirs up hidden reactions of an unsavory kind. (Just to be perfectly clear, I am not making a verbal play out of the fact that Sen. Obama is black. The shadow is a metaphor widely in use before his arrival on the scene.) I recognize that psychological analysis of politics is usually not welcome by the public, but I believe such a perspective can be helpful here to understand Palin's message. In her acceptance speech Gov. Palin sent a rousing call to those who want to celebrate their resistance to change and a higher vision.

Look at what she stands for:--Small town values -- a denial of America's global role, a return to petty, small-minded parochialism.--Ignorance of world affairs -- a repudiation of the need to repair America's image abroad.--Family values -- a code for walling out anybody who makes a claim for social justice. Such strangers, being outside the family, don't need to be heeded.--Rigid stands on guns and abortion -- a scornful repudiation that these issues can be negotiated with those who disagree.--Patriotism -- the usual fallback in a failed war.--"Reform" -- an italicized term, since in addition to cleaning out corruption and excessive spending, one also throws out anyone who doesn't fit your ideology.

Obama's call for higher ideals in politics can't be seen in a vacuum. The shadow is real; it was bound to respond. Not just conservatives possess a shadow -- we all do. So what comes next is a contest between the two forces of progress and inertia. Will the shadow win again, or has its furtive appeal become exhausted? No one can predict. The best thing about Gov. Palin is that she brought this conflict to light, which makes the upcoming debate honest. It would be a shame to elect another Reagan, whose smiling persona was a stalking horse for the reactionary forces that have brought us to the demoralized state we are in. We deserve to see what we are getting, without disguise.

My Midlife Job Crisis and the Elephant In the Room - by Gerald Ollison

I have been dealing with what, I guess, some call a midlife 'job' crisis. As a result, I've been dealing with a particularly unusual Jungian projection...

It's not like an Anima projection, which draws you towards a certain kind of woman over-n-over again, etc. Nothing so common. It's stranger than that, but just as haunting (and strangely humorous).

It's taken me almost two years to realize it had to do with my midlife crisis and 'Work' with a big 'W'; and I truly believe this has been responsible for keeping me unemployed. It's very bizarre... I described it recently to an old friend in an email, and I want to share it here too. I think this is probably quite common...

I worked for 7 years at a nonprofit classical radio station. I managed the membership and begged for money by mail, worked the membership database and the website... I did good by the station, literally raised millions (one 35 dollar donation at a time) for the station over a few years, and made a decent, modest living too; but the board changed, then the management changed... and we all tried to get along, but the 'law of two feet' was long overdue to be followed, so after many false starts I finally had to conclude it was time for me to leave that organization.

That was almost exactly 2 years ago... We've done a few odd jobs since then, but I've been slowly realizing that this new midlife thang I'm going through is plenty tough and, to me, a little mystical... And it's actually more than contributed to my inability to find to not only 'meaningful work', but any work at all. It has been strange... really...

I won't belabor the issue, but it is a story worth telling with a deep lesson to be learned. Simply put... I've noted I have issues to flesh out. We all have'em, and it's an old story-- around midlife you deal or you're dealt... In Robert Bly's Iron John he talks about katabasis or 'the rat's hole'... Well, I think I'm kinda there. But if I do the reflective work, I hope I understand correctly, and make a decision to go down the rat hole on my own, I'll be spared a more severe arrangement by the gods (an accident, illness, divorce or other tragedy) which will force me to look.

At first, I thought okay, I got skills and fundraising experience. I'll be able to get employment at another nonprofit within a couple of weeks... but that wasn't working, so then I thought it was my age, then my skin color, then the economy or some combination of all of the above... I tweaked and retweaked my résumé... Then after reading one career book after another, after then reading every self-help book and metaphysics tome in the universe, after vocational training to get my insurance sales license (so I can once again do the 'right thing' and just support family), after imploring the very universe itself with-- "The Seeeeeecret!"... after all of that... It began to slowly dawn on me that every time I did a job interview I was being sabotaged...

I don't mean self-sabotage with only verbal slips, etc. I don't mean self-fulfilling prophecy... I mean there was another Jungian something in the room with me...

I refer to it as "the elephant in the room"... but it's a little more than that. It's a Jungian presence made up of some combination of my issues. It's like entering a job interview with an invisible witchdoctor (like in the movie 'Beetlejuice'), who shakes a maraca and proceeds to tweak the results before I've barely started to speak...

The interviewer asks a question and I answer; the maraca shakes and the witchdoctor sings...

The other people in the interview don't exactly see me and my game face (no matter how good it is), or hear me... they see 'It' superimposed over me...It really is like my head is shrinking before their eyes or something!This witchdoctor is, well, really... another (unconscious) me... me and my (unconscious) dreams, spent or still present, my (unconscious) issues, my secret (unconscious) desires, my (unconscious) frustrations and defeats...

But this stuff I need to work on is 'unconscious' so it's particularly difficult to flesh out... Because this unconscious stuff is, by its very (unconscious) nature, unknowable! And there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it... except note it, work with it, work it all eventually and, ever so slowly, out...

There are exercises in books you can do, or which job counselors can help you with, which take you on a paths to finding new work...But a workbook and exercises mightn't work that well. They can tend to be too linear, which is attractive to your conscious mind; the unconscious abhors 'Linear'.

For instance, after being in theater forever, I thought that what I wanted to do (after using various workbooks) was still somehow closely related to something like theater. In particular, I was thinking events work and some kind of work with public speakers and the like... Logical, right? So logical, I even wrote executive summaries for business plans and designed brochures around this idea... I'm pretty sure that's not my path now... Working in a conference center might be an okay day job for me, but I know now that it isn't the expression my unconscious was yearning for.

Also understand, I do appreciate the difference between finding a job (in order to eat, pay the bills, etc.), and a vocation. I appreciate the difference quite well... Well... consciously, I do.
However, I'm not certain the subconscious makes, or is even capable of making, this same distinction...

So, after doing your exercises and workbooks, you might get that simple day job even, only to find it unfathomably unbearable on levels you can't even discern. Only feeling a generalized discomfort, and then eventually being fired or quitting. You will feel like you are going in circles... and you will... until the mystery is eventually truly solved... it actually may be more intuited at first, than discovered...

In fact, even when you're sure you've finally nailed the bugger down and brought it up to the splendid surface; you may find that you mightn't be able to do it for a living, but mostly as a hobby. What's important to know though, is that you've found not your living, but your reason to live; your 'expression'...

And after you've found this expression, and made a proclamation that you will pursue this path finally, then getting that day job gets easier, I think.

This has been my last 2 years. I really don't think this will turn out too bad. I really do believe I'm well on my own way by now, and I have done a lot of the head-work...

But, it has not been an easy 2 years with the witchdoctor.

Jerry'O

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright © September 2008 by Gerald Ollison. All rights reserved.(Excepting the photos, maybe... My bad, Tee-hee...)

P.S. In fact, I'll share a book that's been particularly helpful for me, after reading it and working with it several times over (by the public pool where my 5 year old did his summer swim classes). It's called 'Living On Purpose', by Pat A Paulson, Sharon C. Brown and Jo Ann Wolf. It's the only workbook I've found which is nonlinear on purpose. This serves to speak to your subconscious a little better I think. After working with it for awhile I truly realized I was making some breakthroughs.